Editing Contest Winner

Well, I have now read that stupid sentence way more times than I ever wanted. What was I thinking?

The winner I have chosen is whichever Cochran actually edited the sentence. Circumstantially I would guess my good friend Ryan, who regularly reads this blog. But his wife Katie is the wordsmith of the Cochran household, so I’m thinking either Katie (who I don’t think ever reads this blog) heard about it from Ryan and tried her hand, or Ryan pulled in a ringer. Either way the prize goes to the same place. Here’s the original sentence:

Many Asian American biblical scholars have adopted a multidisciplinary approach to biblical interpretation, drawing upon postcolonial theory, diasporic studies, anthropology, sociology, cultural studies, Asian American studies and theology, in addition to traditional biblical exegetical and hermeneutical tools, to craft new, hybridized Asian American biblical hermeneutics that are attentive to the issue of reenvisioning Asian American ethnic-racial identities within their diasporic existence in the United States.

And here are the (now two) sentences as edited (with one typo that the Cochrans introduced edited out!):

Many Asian American biblical scholars have adopted a multidisciplinary approach to biblical interpretation in order to craft new, hybridized Asian American biblical hermeneutics that are attentive to the issue of reenvisioning Asian American ethnic-racial identities within their diasporic existence in the United States. This multidisciplinary approach leads these scholars to draw upon postcolonial theory, diasporic studies, anthropology, sociology, Asian American studies and theology, in addition to traditional biblical exegetical and hermeneutical tools.

All the entries were definite improvements, but the many-headed hydra of qualifiers and subordinate clauses that I originally posted surely works better as two sentences. So I’ll mail you your signed book, it’ll get to the Canadian border in a day or two, and then Canada Post will take care of it for the next six or seven weeks before they deliver it to you. Enjoy!

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1 comment so far

  1. chad on

    I knew he’d win. I’m never being a part of your rigged contests again. Total descrimination. It’s so obvious that he only got it because he’s a middle-class, white, heterosexual, Christian male.


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